lostinmynotebook

poems,poetry,floetry,writing,

I can’t Dance chapter 5 — May 22, 2018

I can’t Dance chapter 5

Written by Destiny Bergeron

So tonight is the night!!!
We will forget our drama filled lives~

And try to have good time
I get her her tootie fruity drink
She buys my draft~

Find table by the dance floor
There’s this old guy going h.a.m
Showing up everybody up
She stands up starts cheering
For the oldtimer

I can tell she wants to dance
Her lovely latin hipsdon’t lie

So I ask her to dance~

Knowing I can’t dance at all
She just grabs my hand
and run out on the floor~

She’s getting really close
I warn her remember I’m a lesbian…..
I might like this a too much!!!!

She acts as if she can’t hear me
I lean in to repeat my joke
And she kisses me on the cheek
Then whispers thank you in my ear~

Honestly there was about 200 people on that dance floor but my memory only sees her…

The bar is thinning out and so
Are my friendly defenses
She literally had to ask me to kiss
to kiss her….I peck her on lips
affaid my beer breath will ruin our first kiss and as if on cue
The lights turn on, barter yells out last call~

We stumble thru her front door
Fully intoxicated
She always sleeps on the couch
I sleep on a mattrice on the floor
I act as if everthings normal slept over her house 20 times before

I start to make my bed
She hops in the shower
I begin to roll our bedtime blunt
We make it through one rotation
Before… We’re making out like highshcool teenagers

This time we didn’t get much sleep AGAIN my respect for her will not me from elaborating any further~

Insight…previous chapters have the same feature image… with in last 10 post

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Falling chapter3 — May 20, 2018

Falling chapter3

Written by Destiny Bergeron

Every morning since

The day she brought me home

I wake up to a text from her

We spend alot of time together

For some reason we pour

Our hearts and souls out

To one another

Secrets and regrets

In just a week or two

I’m falling fast

She’s my exact opposite

Begs me to straighten my hair and dress up pretty

I wanna go hiking and fishing

She gives her life to her children

I’m a lesbian that probably will never have kids

she’s alot more techie than rocks an iphone

this was 2014

I was still using a flip phone

When I told her I never had my own email before

She immediately showed me how to make one

Later that night I got my first email ever….

It was from her

just 3 words…

I likes you

I sent bk I likes you too

Then we acted as if

It never happened

We just kept falling

Honestly it was beyond me

The thought of her loving me

Scared the shit out of me

Cuz she’s insanely amazing

She deserves more than a pizza girl

that can hardly pay her rent

And take care of her dogs

Why does it feel like us being together in inevitable

from the first time

I saw her I was falling for her

Insight….last 2 post are the 1st and 2nd chapters

150 Pizzas — May 19, 2018

150 Pizzas

Written by Destiny Bergeron

Todays the day!!!!!

local college Orientation weekend,

And they chose us to cater it.

My job is mad house,

My arms are throbbing,

From stretching dough

My backs on fire

Can’t close the oven door

6 come out 6 more go in

It’s like a revolving door

Finally I can see the end of the ticket

10 left just cheese

I have pizza sauce on ever inch of my uniform

Cornmeal everywhere

A total mess

But ticket up 150 pizzas completed

Boss lets me go early

to reward me

For my amazing pizza making capabilities

I practically ran out the door

Right into my hot mom the week before

Omg I’m so sorry… just so happy to leaving

She says~ but I came here for

your delicious pizza~

Truth… (if she wasn’t gorgeous

I woulda said no)… but

She’s really pretty~

Tell her I’m a woman of my word

This ones on me,

While we were talking her oldest

And middle child started arguing over

The arcade games

She said today it’s to go

They are on my last nerve

Then walks over to the oldest and warns him.

If you don’t stop acting up

We’re not going to get you new game !!!!

We’ll go to Marshals

And you’ll… help Mommy pick out clothes!!!

He straighten right up….

and let his little brother have his turn

She turns back to and ~says sorry

I say don’t apologize to me

My Mom had nine kids

She didn’t even let us in restaurants

She jokes says thats a good idea

We talk cuz I’m off the clock

Mention that I gotta catch the last bus

She pipes right up

where you live I’ll bring you home

Come to the realization

I live right down the hill from her

Exchange numbers

Thank her for the ride home

Trying not to get ahead of myself

But she text even before

I’m in the door

Do you work tmw?????

I say nope tmw and the next day

Off

You can hit me up if you want

I’ll probably be fishing

Or absolutely nothing

Ok I’m gonna warn you the boys can get me up early

I reply just bring coffee

Insight … Our second chapter

She no longer just a cute customer….I guess we’re

hanging out tomorrow

Ticket 72 — May 18, 2018

Ticket 72

Written by Destiny Bergeron 

First Customer in like

A half hour~

Good I’m bored

Don’t think she’s ever been here

Before~

“Can I help you oder”

Trying not to realize

She’s beautiful~

“Large 1topping only 5$” I suggest

She ask “Can I get half roni”

I reply” of course

For here or to go

Ready in 15 ”

As fumble her changed

She ask about my tattoo 😉

Which is a rainbow band on my ring finger

I say “oh that’s my I’m a lesbian tattoo”

She laughs and says “that’s cute”

I refrain from flirting

Cuz I’m working plus she’s

Obviously not a lesbian

Woman looks like Aphrodites reincarnated

She’s just making polite conversation

Pizza’s in gotta get dough started

Tell me when 72`s up

I going to smoke a cigg

Your tables up

Wash my hands

Grab plates plates and napkins

Round the counter
To the side booth

Where she sat with

3children~

Definitely not a lesbian~

After more polite conversation~

Back to work go~

Till my boss says…

That mom you think is cute

Is asking for you….

Go to the front and she’s standing by the register

holding 5$…” here this for you

Thank you the pie was delicious”

I bite my flirty tounge

And let the delicious pie comment slide

But reply with a smile

“you can tip me by coming back

Keep the 5… pies on me next time”

————————————–

Insight… this the first chapter

Of a love ,that no reason
to exsist…

yet, somehow flourished~

~Beyond our wildest imagination~

Fighting The Night — May 17, 2018
Before — May 14, 2018

Before

Written by Destiny Bergeron 

Have you ever been broken-

And afraid everyone can see ?

Screaming into the dark~

That ravished your world.

Till your screams turn to cries~

And you’re reduced to your knees.

That’s where I was~

when she found me.

And she wonders why~

I wonder ….what she sees in me~

I guess it was necessity ~

Honestly we had no reason~

To give eachother so much trust.

Fell in love in not even a month~

When I look back on us~

I see the universe work.

In the most profound way.

Crashed us tohether~

Right before~

the darkness~

took us forever~

As if the Universe knew

We’d survive

tearing eachother apart

That our hearts would reform

stronger than they were before

Insight…. I use to think of her as the one that got away

Now I know our purpose was greater~

I’m stronger

Change of Heart — May 8, 2018

Change of Heart

Written by Destiny Bergeron 

I swear you linger

Like winter ice

Freezing to the edges of my mind

Hardening the ground of heart

Cooling my bood

So I can adapt to living

without your touch

I know not to try to fallow you

Chasing the sun is impossible

So I have to let you go

Have faith that your seasons will change

And bring you back to me someday

Hypnotized — May 7, 2018

Hypnotized

Find a rhyme

twist it with some heart

And a poem may come to life

Add wonder and character

And a story may form

I don’t know how

that’s just the way

My pen works

My words must flow

Where I never know

But my pen has never

Let me down before

When my heart is broke

my pen can skip the same poem

over and over again

Like it’s hypnotized or something

This site is my pen breaking the spell

And writing on its’ own again

Fall Apart  — May 3, 2018

Fall Apart 

Written by Destiny Bergeron

lost in a lovers leap

fell hard but it was sweet.

now I stand broken

at your feet.

wondering if

you’ve seen me?

or did I fail you

like I did me?

this isn’t who I want to be

we tried and failed miserably.

so I’m gonna gather up

whats left of me.

and leave you with nothing

but what we use to be.

I hang my head in defeat.

broken and sore from

trying to pull us back together.

there’s parts of me

that will always be yours.

and pieces of you I’ll never let go.

Although we fell for eachother-

we fell apart not together

INSIGHT ….Sometimes you don’t survive the fall

READ WITH CAUTION — April 25, 2018

READ WITH CAUTION

Written by Destiny Bergeron 

She picks up my notebook and opens!!!!! to an unknown page in my heart

looks up with those magnetic brown eyes and ask

which one is about me?

I just laugh, shake my head

and say

which one isn’t

her eyes get really big

as she fans through 350 pages

she says,you’re  kidding,

I close the notebook and warn her

you might not like it

I don’t say much I try to show my love by the actions I make

Just saying it is cliche

I must make my feelings for you tangible in some way

whether it’s a kiss, my sincerity or in a bunch of nicely arranged sentences

the energy created when we are connected

is the blood of poetry

Combined with our star crossed faith, how we drift apart and together again

against lifes wind

no poet could resist writing it

So go ahead… keep reading

And you’ll see

how you feed

the Shakespeare in me

Make me strive to be a better me

How you break my heart when you leave

The fear of you realising

you’re so much better than me

That you might find

someone who more evenly

matches your astonishing beauty

You’ll see, How I hide these fears

In here in fear,

that you’ll think less of me

The words I never say

In respect of our love

I put my fears on a page

insted of questioning our trust

right to your face

It’s not your fault

It’s my insecurity

They stay in my notebook

Where no one else can see

INSIGHT…..this a true story 

My heart still raced when

I think of her reading my words

The most amazing thing about writing is capturing moments

You want to last forever