lostinmynotebook

poems,poetry,floetry,writing,

Heart Speaks — February 21, 2018

Heart Speaks

when I love someone

I give my life to them

I let them hold my heart

in their hands

I grant them total access

To all the forbidden parts of me

My fears my hopes and my dreams

I never let go

till they’re already gone  forever

and my heart is scared to be

back with me

Keeps reaching for them

I try to consoul it

tell it’s ok to be alone

Then it says I know this

Wtf  were you thinking

thought we were friends

You just gave me away

Like I was nothing

I know I’m not perfect

But I’m the only

heart you’ll ever get

You should be more careful with me

I know you’ve always been a good friend, never letting forget what makes me, me

Speaking up for good in me

I was fallowing your lead

it wasn’t all me

You wanted to go

when I let you go

you jump so fast

all I saw was a blur

The next time we both know

To bring a rope

So when we jump

I can always pull you home

 

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Fall Apart  — August 11, 2017

Fall Apart 

lost in a lovers leap

fell hard but it was sweet

now I stand broken 

at your feet

wondering if

 you’ve seen me

or did I fail you

 like I did me

this isn’t who I want to be

we tried and failed miserably 

so I’m gonna gather  

whats left of me up 

and leave you with nothing 

 but what use to be 

I hang my head in defeat

broken and sore from

 trying to pull us back together 

there’s  parts of me

 that will always be yours

and pieces of you I’ll never let go

though we fell for eachother

we fell apart not together   

 

Banished  — May 22, 2017

Banished 

Don’t even, you’re absolutely

Out of your mind

Poking around my life as if

You didn’t destroy it

Admiring my resilient ways

How I  picked up my broken pieces

And put them back together again

Better than you ever imagined

I told you that you are banished

You can only admire my existence

From a distance

Forgiveness is not an option

pitty gets you nothing

keep on wishing

You never took me for granted

The mistreatment of my love

Is forbidding

Now you must the consequence

Maybe Crazy — April 24, 2017

Maybe Crazy

Maybe it’s  just not meant to be

Maybe it’s  not you, it’s me

Maybe I wanna be free

Maybe you’re sick of me

Maybe we aren’t what we use to be

Maybe its just my insecurities 

Maybe I’m crazy

Maybe you still feel the same for me

Maybe you’re just as scared as me

Maybe all these maybes don’t mean a thing

Maybe we should just let it be 

Maybe we need to find some certainty 

Maybe thats all we need insted 

of all these maybes 

 

Heart Speaks — March 16, 2017

Heart Speaks

when I love someone 

I give my life to them

I let them hold my heart 

in their hands 

I grant them total access 

To all the forbidden parts of me

My fears my hopes and my dreams

I never let go 

till they’re already gone  forever 

and my heart is scared to be 

back with me 

Keeps reaching for them

I try to consoul it 

tell it’s ok to be alone

Then it says I know this 

Wtf  were you thinking

 thought we were friends

You just gave me away

Like I was nothing

I know I’m not perfect

But I’m the only 

heart you’ll ever get

You should be more careful with me

I know you’ve always been a good friend, never letting forget what makes me, me 

Speaking up for good in me

I was fallowing your lead

    it wasn’t all me

You wanted go 

when I let you go 

you jump so fast 

 all I saw was a blur 

The next time we both know

To bring a rope 

So when we jump 

I can always pull you home 

  

Writers magic — March 11, 2017

Writers magic

I write compulsively 

It relaxes me 

like a smoke after work

Writing quiets my mind 

So I can hear my sole

Truth be told

It can be a double edge sword

Having a written record

Of every mistake we’ve made

A complete account of 

our falling love

All my Regrets of misplaced trust

Can get a lil monotonous 

When your heart gets broken

And you’re pen skips

The same track over and over again

Like you took my words hostage 

My heart has paid the ransom 

So I turn the page

away from the pain of yesterday

and it appears to be clear 

Beauty of being a writer 

With flip of the page

I can make you disappear 

 Terms and Conditions   — March 3, 2017

 Terms and Conditions  

The conditions are clear

I don’t care if it’s not fair

What did you think

you’re  gonna get a deal

On the most authentic ventage obscure love you’ve ever known

loyal and open

passionate to pursuit happiness

my commitment is honered with actions and not words

My love is never free

no credit giving

I only take your actions as payment

Asking  why i don’t say i love you

was your opening deposit

If I sound cold or selfish

Like you’re an investment

Well than now your getting it

Who i choose to spend my time

Share my life with is priceless

Queens Verdict  — February 28, 2017

Queens Verdict 

Please don’t say sorry
Apologies are like
someone breaking your heart
than trying to help you
pick up the pieces
I dont care for your reasons
Just start leaving
we aren’t even me and you anymore
Loving me is such a rarity
You should go down in history for getting the best of me
But with all honesty
I’m ashamed that I placed
so much of my own life in your hands
I’m not someone you take for granted
So don’t try to defend your actions
I’m being cordial trying to
Save some dignity
To this mess you created
Yes you did, not sorry,not stupidity
I am a queen, remember
your the one that showed me
I am royalty
I do not lay with
the ignorant or sorry,
Therefore you are no longer
worthy of loving me
So just leave