addiction, Family, fighting, life, scribbles of myself, Writing

Unforgettable 

I see him go blank

And I know, he’s

Trying to remember this memory 

Turns and looks at me 

Kid we were living in Springfield  

When my Mom died right?

I tell him Na Dad I’m pretty  sure we were on Prospect st in Chicopee.

“Oh ya thats right I was staying with my brother Bobby. Now I remember.

Ya Dad it was then

We had fun then didn’t we kid?

I tell him we sure did !!!

You’d take us to the river like every 

Weekend  

let the current take us 

then catch us as we came your way

And we’d go hiking off of Pendleton hill, digging forts and cooking hotdogs and hamburgers on a fire you taught us how to build

Lil billy found a old rusty gun buried at the top of the path 

 he’d say, wow can’t believe  

you remember all that 

The drugs and the life I lived for so long made everything fuzzy and 

I can’t make out the moments 

And I say, its ok Dad I’ll never forget

   All the fun we had!!! 

He hates that he gave 

so much of his life away 

to the demons that he chased 

And I say you know 

I know way to many people 

that don’t have father

And unlike most 

being addicted to herion. 

never took you away from your kids. 

Now that I’m grown 

I know.

How fortunate all 9 of us are 

to have such a good Dad. 

But the Truth is 

you coulda died doing that shit.

I know you’re still fighting it everyday. And it is the source 

of so much guilt and pain. 

Being an addict when we were growing up.

But you’re clean now for our lil ones 

You lived a life full of demons most  would of lost everything. 

You never lost the love 

of your family and friends

I know there’s so much 

you wish you could get back

Just know you’re an amazing Dad

I will always help you remember that 

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